hmmm...... for the past 2 hrs nt able to take mind away frm her.... i still cant believe hw she cld b lyk dis ... i was ready for evrythn but i suppose i missed dis one.... well my lyf goin thru turmoil... so many thngs at one tym...but who the fuckin hell care wat happens to me... i will b as gud as i alwas was wid odrs.....

started to post updates bout how i wish to die... its fun for evry1 coz i post it dat way... but deep inside i no hw anxiously i want dat to b true....

down wid severe fever its really painful i admit.... but i cant help thinkin wat if its sumthng srs n then i die....it mite cum true.... will dat make ppl realise bout me... i doubt dat coz if ppl can b dat callous they can go to ne xtent of selfishness...

a gud thng about all dis is apart frm dis certain thot.... i dnt have ne hard feelings lyk i had developed....last day i saw the sun rising,i mite have seen dat many a times before but last day wen i saw dat all that came to ma mind was wen v were together one morning n lukd towards the sun n prayed.....

nw atleast theres sumthng to say i was ryt... i nvr lykd havin ill thots .... n nw i dnt have....

and one thng more i feel mayb i nvr loved her as she was i loved her n loved her vry much for wat i thot she was for wat i thot she b for me..... mayb then its not her fault at all she will b she... i suppose it had to come to an end.

but ryt now its quite frustrating.....i hope u njoying evry bit of lyf i pray for it...u were always so happy to b dat way.:)

as for me i will do smthng ... i dnt no wat...

hmmmm..... n ya 1 thng i found out bout myself.... i too have the urge to have vodka so as to relieve myself.....thats a diff thng i didn have it ;)...