meeeeeeeee

these are few things i wanna believe

1.i have no imp in her life.

2.she dont care bout me.

3.she is happy(vry happy) now.

4.she njoyin lyf with frnds(party walks jokings,sight seeing ;) )

5.remembers me nly wen sum hw v have a talk....

6.and SHE LOVES SOMEONE ELSE NOW.

few things i came to no bout myself lately....

1.feel relieved after posting a sng on facebook gtalk.....

2.collar tshirts luks pretty cool on me.

3.messing up with ma studies.

4.i have an obsession too... i wanna c her happy above all...

5.i got 10 packets of tablets which he;p me stay alive ;)

6.i love my frnds for they still havent lost hope on me... even though i have.

hmmm...... for the past 2 hrs nt able to take mind away frm her.... i still cant believe hw she cld b lyk dis ... i was ready for evrythn but i suppose i missed dis one.... well my lyf goin thru turmoil... so many thngs at one tym...but who the fuckin hell care wat happens to me... i will b as gud as i alwas was wid odrs.....

started to post updates bout how i wish to die... its fun for evry1 coz i post it dat way... but deep inside i no hw anxiously i want dat to b true....

down wid severe fever its really painful i admit.... but i cant help thinkin wat if its sumthng srs n then i die....it mite cum true.... will dat make ppl realise bout me... i doubt dat coz if ppl can b dat callous they can go to ne xtent of selfishness...

a gud thng about all dis is apart frm dis certain thot.... i dnt have ne hard feelings lyk i had developed....last day i saw the sun rising,i mite have seen dat many a times before but last day wen i saw dat all that came to ma mind was wen v were together one morning n lukd towards the sun n prayed.....

nw atleast theres sumthng to say i was ryt... i nvr lykd havin ill thots .... n nw i dnt have....

and one thng more i feel mayb i nvr loved her as she was i loved her n loved her vry much for wat i thot she was for wat i thot she b for me..... mayb then its not her fault at all she will b she... i suppose it had to come to an end.

but ryt now its quite frustrating.....i hope u njoying evry bit of lyf i pray for it...u were always so happy to b dat way.:)

as for me i will do smthng ... i dnt no wat...

hmmmm..... n ya 1 thng i found out bout myself.... i too have the urge to have vodka so as to relieve myself.....thats a diff thng i didn have it ;)...

Devastated.............

beaten up...feelin low....lost my zeal my vigour.....i lost myself,the way i was....all seem to be a thing of past now... wat do u do when u got lil bit of inspiration to live.... well m not dat coward dat i take my life.NO! i wont do that.... i got my parents who luk forward to me how can i let them down.....

well for your information i make that clr dat i chose dis life for me no1 did dat for me so cant blame ne1 much... i was the one who decided to part ways at first place..... for the feelings i had i wanted her to live a life.... the thng btw us wasnt there... i mean was jst in the hurt but cld nvr cum at front.... she missed her frnds her life before that... n hw cld i see her lyk dat i cldnt i once loved her frm da bottom of ma heart i cant see her suffer ..... n then i had to decide ... n i did dat...

well now she has a lyk, she got her frnds back she got mst of thngs she wanted... she hates me for wat i have done doesnt undrstnd y i did so(xpected her to undrstnd.but cant blame her much...)....n all these things she does nw i nvr liked about her so u c doesnt had much options eidr her life or me... wid me it was pain sufferin mst of tym n happiness for lil bit of tym...

i on other hand as the title says m devastated.... for all rsn mentioned above n biggest of them all..... it hurts she couldnt respect the feeling v had once.....i cld have nvr done all dis she's doin have i been her.... i dnt tell ne1 bout us to ne1 ... she told ..ok dats still fyn... but then i dnt give updates to people dat m single..... she nt tellin ne1 bout us (acc to her) but tellin shes single wat the fuck is dat then..... i wld have still lived wid dat had i not heard ppl havin a laugh about us.... this is no way u respect a relationship... u say u loved me truly is dat the true love...

but ya it b ok.. i will learn i always do...

seems lyk its goin to b another gleamy year i had once.....i have no frnds,dnt lyk to hang out wid them...dnt attend parties,messed up wid my xams..... so great a lyf i have!!!!!!!!!!

WELL you cldnt respect but i will always...... for i did ryt the right thng by calling quits as u didn deserve the feelings i had for u else u cld have nvr done....

go on njoy...i will make sure nt even my shadow falls on you.... i will do that for da love.